Endless revelations. Leaving me reeling, feeling change.
Transitions to an alternate life in the air, but failing to commit to it. Flailing aimlessly in the breeze, like some weak willed dead leaf that can’t bare to let go of the branch that shed it long ago.
Constantly making fundamentally opposing life changing decisions and then immediately reversing them.
I’m definitely done with that for good. Except for this one exception, I repeat to myself for the 18th time. This story I tell myself and others, this constantly evolving chain of excuses I make are making the final decisions difficult to maintain. I know I appear like a thinly veiled phoney. Appearances can be deceiving, but this one certainly isn’t.
Out in the world again.
Why didn’t I learn last time?
Clearly not ready to escape. But I’m desperate to. It’s as if this place has become the rule I want to break.
Let me go.