And he said that it’s normal
that it’s a human reaction
but I’m dizzy, from this spiralling
from this everlasting spiralling
Singing borrowed melodies
from a mind seeking, trying, never finding
Speaking borrowed words
from a mind repeating, like a heart beating
Carbon copies of ghosts who’ve come before
Don’t know whose voice is in my head anymore
I can only use language when I have time to think
I’m silent and empty when I’m pushed to the brink
And he said I’m making anxiety
into a living entity
like it has a hold on me.
Oh, it has a hold on me.
Reflecting, regretting, always suppressing
Sometimes this distress has seemed like a blessing
Scrambling for possession of any part of me
Control is my obsession
I’m losing my fleeting creativity.