And I’m still here, waiting to face another day

Trying to grasp at last memories
Pondering for a while
Our last words, the smell of your clothes, the contours of that infectious smile

This sadness bites at me again and again
But I don’t want to lose it, I don’t want to find the end
Because what is left when the pain is gone?
Who will remember your courage and your strength?
Your determination to face the world like a warrior, when it hit you with your darkest pain

Who will remember when we dressed up as maids, turned their living room into a den for the day?
Who will remember our ornate mud pies?
Jumping out from under the table to distract, while the other hides
Who will climb to the top of our haphazard gymnasium, built from zimmer frames?
Now these shared moments are lonely thoughts, as I whisper your name…

Emma

You could have conquered this world
I think you still are
Your relentless energy, your care for others, for this earth;
everything about you travelled far
Reaches further past your 28 year path
It lives on in me, in him, in her, in them; it continues, it lasts

I don’t think you ever knew how loved you were, how admired
That every soul you met you inspired
You didn’t let yourself believe it
I wish I had let you know
That you were loved, you were loved, you were loved, you were loved.

My beautiful glittering comrade, my Twigg counterpart, my sister, my cousin, my best friend
I’ll never stop learning from you
You taught me to live every minute and be alive
To face the biggest struggles with courage, to fight
To stand tall, to follow my heart, to laugh, to dance, to open every door
To take every chance

So here’s to everything we shared
Our troubles, our colours, our endless fun, our beliefs, our puns, our friends, our debauchery, our games, our songs, our name, our ridiculous outfits, our hearts, our hats, our dancing, our adventures, our winding childish path, our love, our lives, our squeaky laughs
They are all still here inside
They are here and they make me stronger
Emma, you will be my guide
I will dance wth you until I am old
I will dance for you, I will dance with your soul
I will dance in the snow and the blistering heat
I will dance along the path you couldn’t complete

And if I ever make it to our rickety old rocking chairs
Fraying at the seams
In our crazy house
Senile and old, remembering our dreams
I will laugh twice as hard for you,
With you, though it won’t be the same
Emma, I promise, we will make it there one day.